Thread: Letter from Edgar J. Steele (Imprisoned Political Dissident in US)

Letter from Edgar J. Steele (Imprisoned Political Dissident in US)

The Tao of ED

by Edgar J. Steele

For the past year, I have been in jail. If this is news to you, look on free-edgar-steele.com for my thoughts on this epic struggle.

Those in jail and prison cells lead particularly difficult lives, in an environment second in stress only (perhaps) to the likes of the Vietnam era’s “Hanoi Hilton” POW camp. In the cruelest turns of fate, most prisoners have seen family and friends turn their backs upon them in shame. But, they may be the lucky ones, actually.

It seems counter-intuitive, but I have seen many inmates turn their own backs on what few family members and friends have stood by them. Why? Because every contact with loved ones “on the outs” produces extreme emotional pain, starting all over again, every time those contacts end, whether by phone, by letter or in person. It is far easier to live completely without our loved ones, it seems, than to be continually teased and reminded of what and who we are missing.

Thus far, I have been spared that pain in my once-again-daily contacts with my wonderful wife, Cyndi. I get my share of pain, though, every time I see, speak or hear from my children and friends. Why is it so different for me with Cyndi? I honestly do not know.

Many wonder how I have emerged intact from a year of solitary/max-security/full-lockdown confinement, being held essentially incommunicado. How can I seem to be peaceful and content? Many more wonder aloud when I am going to have the expected breakdown about being convicted recently of four major felonies. I face a minimum sentence of 30 years, with 70 or more years a very real possibility.

“Jail suits you, Ed,” is the standard reaction obvious on the faces of all who visit me here in jail. Well, maybe. In fact, I suppose it has enabled me to find whole new dimensions to my character and understanding of the Universe.

Every day, I actively work at what I have come to call the Tao of Ed: striving to learn and master Patience, Surrender, Acceptance, and Humility.

By going through a litany of truths (affirmations, some would say) and aphorisms, often several times a day, together with sessions of meditation, I have managed to avoid the desperation, hostility and strain gripping so many of those around me. Every day, I count my blessings rather than curse my misfortunes. Indeed, I have learned to seek out the silver lining of every cloud that comes into my life.

Or, it might all simply be because I am heavily medicated, but that is a story for another day.

What are the “affirmations” I now have come to embrace each day of my life? Glad you asked. Here are the reasons I consider myself to be a lucky man:

1. I have the love and support of the perfect woman: strong, soft, understanding, forgiving, loving, beautiful and compassionate. Our love is even stronger because of this horrible experience. Like the families of Shakespeare’s star-crossed lovers, Romeo and Juliet, the Feds have done their dead-level best to split us up, but have managed only to make us want to be together all the more.

At age 66, I am in “extra innings” due to defeating cancer, an embolism (aneurysm) and a major aortic aneurysm. How many of us might jump at the chance to return after death, even to a jail cell? With my blood pressure at zero in the hospital elevator, death is exactly what I returned from, six months prior to my arrest.

I have good health, a genuinely youthful, non-“stuffy” outlook, a sense of real power and an important mission in life…also, I still have all my hair, teeth, intellect and looks (☺).

My family and friends have their dignity, self-respect and integrity, despite my predicament, plus an empowering and deep sense of having been wronged by the very system I have fought all my life to preserve, as intended by our forefathers and about which I continually have warned all who will listen.

I have (most of) my dignity, self-respect and integrity.

I am warm, have clean (sort of) clothing, a safe place to sleep, all the food I need and most of the medicines I need.
My very existence has become a symbol of, and object lesson in, the corruption, tyranny and unfairness I have warned about for years. Like many before me, I have become a living example of the corruption, excesses and evils of my time. With my incarceration and conviction on false charges, my message gets through even stronger now.

I have embarked again upon my spiritual quest, abandoned now for over 30 years. This time, I have turned inward for the answers, rather than seeking enlightenment from others (who taught me only about enlightenment, without any actual enlightenment taking place).

I have set upon what I call the path of the “Tao of Ed.” – I have learned Patience (enduring adversity with equanimity) and Surrender (letting go of effort by not struggling against the inevitable). I now am learning Acceptance (wanting what I have, losing it without regret and not needing what I don’t have) and Humility (putting ego aside). Humility is especially difficult for me, but being in jail helps…a lot.

Amazingly, I still have all my friends plus lots of new ones, both “on the outs” and inside every jail through which they have “dieseled” (a concept by the new American Prison Industry that deserves further attention later).

I am learning the real meaning of freedom and a new, heightened appreciation for life.

Somehow, even after my conviction, I am utterly confident that I will be cleared and set free. I have a date with a red sports car in Southern Oregon, you see; yet another story for another day.

I am ready, eager and 100% committed to take up my real life’s work: speaking out to fight Amerikan tyranny and to inspire others, both inside and outside “the movement.”

My ability to influence others has grown with this affair, which seems to have enhanced my stature in “the movement” by making a very real martyr of me.

Again, I am working – really working – on several books, all of which I will finish. My books and my children will be my enduring legacy to the world.

I have been freed from the chains of work, TV and email.

At worst, I really face a sentence of only a handful of years. 8, 30, 70 or 1000 years – at my age, they are all the same to me. Also, by all accounts, prison will be much more interesting and pleasant than county jails (and my “gang” is waiting there for me).
Though I’ve never had an addictive personality, this period has completely detoxed me from all the post-surgical drugs I was using at the time I was arrested.

Truth, I am living larger and more peacefully than most people “on the outs.” I am blessed. I am a lucky man.

Never will they be able to defeat me. Never.

Did you see anything that resonated with you? Even though you may not share the exceptional environmental advantage (jail) that I currently “enjoy,” I’ll bet that you can build your own list of 20 things for which you can feel genuinely thankful, each and every day. Ten, at least.

The Tao of Ed. Try it. It may just change your life – and without having to spend a year in jail (or a Buddhist monastery). Your mileage may vary, but I truly am a lucky man.

Even so, I much would prefer to be out there with all of you. But, I am confident that I will be. Just wait. You’ll see.

Copyright ©2011,Edgar J. Steele

Forward as you wish. Permission is granted to circulate this article
and its related audio file among private individuals and groups,
post on all Internet sites and publish in full in all not-for-profit
publications. Contact author for all other rights, which are reserved.

Thanks for putting this up Smedley. Thought I'd put up the first installment, just to go with it:

Seeing is Disbelieving by Edgar J. Steele

There are things in life that defy belief. Seeing them often is enough to set one on a path toward seeing unbelievable things at every turn. Seeing is disbelieving? Hmm…
The Red Queen of Alice in Wonderland Fame remarked that she often believed in impossible things; as many as six of them, all just before lunch, too.
A great many more people now are willing to disbelieve in the inherent justice of the American Justice System. They watched a jury in Boise convict me of four Federal felonies.
Sigh. Where do I begin?

You Could Be Next

This story will take some time and require several installments. If you have yet to hear anything about it, you will not believe it. You may not believe it, anyway. I do, however. I am living it. All too easily, you could be next.

I was convicted of hatching a plot to kill my wife, in which I allegedly hired an oafish Idaho handyman as a hit man. Already, something may not sound quite right to you.

A Case in Search of a Motive

Why did I want Cyndi, my wife of 25 years dead? I never have quite heard a reason that makes sense. First, Cyndi was told by the FBI that the motive was life insurance, but then they learned that both of us cancelled our policies years ago. Then, the FBI told her that the motive was my jealousy over her (fictitious) boyfriend. Cyndi quashed that by demanding that the FBI produce photos they said they had; of course, there were none.

Finally, the government settled upon a case I was investigating as motive, because I had communicated with a great many young Ukrainian women (with Cyndi’s consent and even, assistance) to determine if the Russian Bride business really was a human trafficking scam. First, as part of that case I briefly handled, then simply because I found the subject fascinating and worthy of writing a book about it.

Two more novel motives were presented at trial: (1) I was after our car “uninsured motorist” insurance, though I was a lawyer and would have known full well that death by pipe bomb is not “accidental,” so that no insurance ever could be paid. (2) divorce from Cyndi would be too expensive. Yet, the prosecutor failed to tell the jury that I had signed all my assets over to Cyndi. Cyndi was part of every aspect of my life, even my communications overseas to determine how the bartered bride business really worked, so I could write a book exposing the fraud to be entitled “Love and Other Four Letter Words” (subtitled “The Invasion of Planet Earth by Teenage Russian Mail-Order Brides from Cyberspace).

You see, I happen to love Cyndi. I know – that just isn’t fashionable in this day of throw-away relationships, but it is true.

I often have written of how lucky I have been to have had her. About the terrific kids we have. About how my family life serves to steady my universe. All true, even now, as I write these words from a jail cell in Northern Idaho while awaiting sentencing and endeavoring, as best I can, to get a new trial.

My Love Story

Let me try, first, to tell you of my love for Cyndi. She is my mate, pal, helper, lover, buddy, partner, mother of our kids… my first and last wife…my best friend. The love of my life. She is so much better than I deserve. I could go on.

There is a reason for this paen to my blushing bride, of course. To see that the Emperor of my story has no clothes, you must first get, on a visceral level, as do my closest friends, just how ludicrous it would be for me to want my wife dead.

I recall the moment I first laid eyes on Cyndi and the spontaneous burst of surprise and pleasure that crossed her face just before she cast her eyes down and first smiled for me that impish little grin of hers that I love so much. In less than two minutes, I was swept away, though I did my manly best to seem inaffected. It was love at first sight and, 27 years later, my heart still leaps up every time I catch sight of her again.

I could, and should, go on like this for a long time, but please know that I still see Cyndi as my one and only soulmate. There is much, much more to this story, though, and I have to give you at least an overview in this first installment.

My Way

At my lawyers request, I have kept silent (though, not silent enough) about my case. I have made no public statements until today and have yet to speak with anybody from any media outlet. I bit my tongue during my recent trial and, against my better judgment, agreed not to take the stand to testify in my own behalf. Fat lot of good all that has done me!
No more. I did it my lawyer’s way and now, at age 65, I am facing a mandatory minimum sentence of 30 years, with 70 years a very real possibility. Obviously¸ any sentence over 10 years is redundant to my life expectancy, especially in view of the medical problems I have seen in recent years (yet another lengthy, though relevant, story for another day).
Now we are going to do it my way, which likely will involve a good deal of sound and fury.

All My Trials

First up: Motion for a New Trial which my Federal judge will reject in summary fashion. I will have to rely on an appeal to get that new trial. It should be a laydown appeal, though, because this judge repeatedly committed reversible error (more than one story for other days).
We wrecked a sizable legal defense fund (the thanks for which will take more future stories than you will want to read) during the first trial, so I very possibly will have to represent myself at retrial. Spare me the jokes – all lawyers are fools (else¸ we wouldn’t even be lawyers, of course).

Lessee now, where were we? Oh, yes. What really happened? Here’s the executive summary:

The Idahun Hit Man

Larry the Idahun handyman/builder/junk hauler whose cousin’s name is Daryl, I swear (though I do not yet know if the cousin has one or more brothers also named Daryl), worked off and on for us for years. Larry knew we had hidey-holes here and there on the property, because he built some of them for us. Larry stumbled across one of three silver stashes in an outbuilding and then he searched and found two others. All told, Larry stole $45,000 in silver bullion from us at the then price of $18 per ounce.
Knowing I/we would discover the theft, Larry apparently decided that I/we had to go, so he set out to kill me/us with car pipe bombs. Like Wiley Coyote, Larry must shop at Acme, because neither of the two bombs that he then placed on the two cars I drive (one of which Cyndi drove about half the time) went off.

Larry says he removed the bomb attached to one car and then believed the other “fell off” when his cousin Daryl failed to see it after being told to look.

There is an alternate theory that explains the car pipebomb as having been emplaced after I was arrested, but the foregoing seems the most likely scenario.

It is undisputed that Larry sold silver on three different occasions (remember, he stole three of our hidden stashes) – he produced receipts for those sales (totaling just a few thousand dollars) during his testimony at my trial. Larry claimed I gave the silver to him as part of my $10,000 payment to him for killing my precious Cyndi. Larry did actually admit that I didn’t give the silver to him (he took it from one of the three hidey-holes, he said).

Making a Federal Case Out of It

Why did Larry then go to the FBI and fess up to his part in this sordid affair? In exchange for full immunity, of course. He still had to get me out of the way before I discovered his theft. I was beginning to mend from the four surgeries I had had in six months and I was starting to get out of the house.

Larry and I had been talking a lot during those six months, because he was helping us out with many things, including feeding our horses twice a day whenever Cyndi was out of town tending to her very ill mother who lives alone. I explained my difficulties with the ADL, the Russian Mafia, the FBI and others. All he needed to do was make one phone call in order to be conscripted into helping get me out of the way, which is just what he wanted.

Just a Coincidence

The ADL’s internet site hit piece on me was quoted in the very first court filing – coincidence? The FBI is alleged by us conspiracy theorists to be in bed with, if not controlled by, the ADL. More coincidence? Why did Larry go to the FBI rather than the local Sheriff or state authorities, like most of us would do? Yet still more coincidence? Larry said that he travelled nine hours to Oregon to ensure the bomb fell off the car that Cyndi then was driving, but he couldn’t be bothered to take the time to look for himself. Really? Of course, it is just coincidence that this interstate trip is the only thing that gave jurisdiction to the FBI…isn’t it? Do you still believe in coincidence? I don’t.

Ok, you may be saying – What’s the big deal? My word against the Idahun’s, so I should be exonerated without a fight. That would be true if not for those pesky audio recordings that Larry and the FBI claim memorialize my hiring Larry the Idahun hit man. But let’s save that story for the next installment in this epic affair, “Sex, Lies and Audiotapes.”

There is so much more to come in this story: Russian Mafia intrigue, teenage beauty queens, official (and unofficial) corruption, mail-order brides, Hannibal Edgar, the Tao of Ed, private jets, Tahiti…..and more, believe it or not. Remember, seeing is disbelieving.

With a little help from my friends and my lovely Cyndi, who resolutely has stood by me throughout this ordeal, I will get this and future installments out to my list and posted on my website , as well as others. Bear with us, please.

I was finally seeing some of the mail sent to me in recent months. However, I’m once again being moved and at this moment, no one knows where. So please visit www.free-edgar-steele.com for updates on where to send mail -ed

Copyright ©2010, Edgar J. Steele

Forward as you wish. Permission is granted to circulate this article and its related audio file among private individuals and groups, post on all Internet sites and publish in full in all not-for-profit publications. Contact author for all other rights, which are reserved.